Friday, March 13, 2009

Dig this—

I might be risking getting potatoes chucked at my shade-swaddled noggin, but I have some issues with St. Patty’s day. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the opportunity for some mid-day tippling, but the idea of knockin’ back chartreuse Schlitz while dodging lager-sodden sorority girls rocketing toward the bathroom has a few holes in it.

Take it from Lou. There is nothing Irish about a beer with the words Light (or—shudder—Lite), Ice, Draft or Dry in their names. If the song playing is by Def Leppard or Celine Dion you should probably go somewhere else. If the decorative shamrocks feature the above-mentioned words, you might want to take a walk. And finally, if you wouldn’t eat there any other day, consider steering away from the corned beef and cabbage special.

Since actual drinking at the Lampshade Lounge is frowned upon, at least for those of us with Toro-at-Tiffany’s tendencies, here’s a few thoughts on making this hallowed day work for you:

Straight up.

Lou can be a bit of a purist. If you need a color scheme for your beer, consider black and tan. Or a simple pint of Caffrey’s or Beamish Stout. Consider a shot of Jameson’s or Bushmills with your morning coffee. You’ll need something to get you through the parade.

All bars are Irish on St. Pat’s, but make the effort find one with at least one fiddle player about. And, you are NOT too cool sing about alligators and geese, and you SHOULD kiss her because she IS Irish.

One more thought. A truly under-used pub pastime is toasting. Its pleasant, its social, and it gives you another reason to drink. If you weren’t born with balls of blarney, try this spot for true Irish blessings, or here to generate thematic gibberish.

With a twist.

So maybe you’re not up for a pint, but you’re still looking to shake your shillelagh for St. Patty’s. May I suggest a mojito (O’jito?) for your pleasure. It’s green, it’s tasty, it’s minty fresh. And, I’m pretty sure it scares away snakes.

What have you got going on St. Patrick’s Day? Do you have a favorite haunt we should know about, let her rip. Pictures of you with your shorties dyed green, post away. Got a passionate defense of green Coor’s in a plastic cup, ship it.

Lou is listening.

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